Written in Red

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church. If they still refuse to listen to the church, then consider them Gentiles or tax-collectors" -Matthew 18:15-17

How do you firmly handle the one's you love in Christian kindness when they don't want to hear you out? Personally, I have only confronted one person in a matter of their sin, and that was an easy turn around that was taken no further than me and that person and that I still yet to speak of to any one else.  Maybe this is because I am afraid of repercussions, or maybe just because all my friends are perfect people, but the more likely reasons is because I only confront people that I care deeply for.

I cannot imagine my own sins being pointed out to me. Embarrassment, shame, guilt. First thing I would do is flip to Matthew 7:3 that says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in a friends eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye." Or flip a few verses prior and spout off, Matthew 7:1, "Do not judge lest you too be judged." The defenses would go up faster than a blink of an eye. I would be doing anything in my power to justify my means. Problem:  Before you interpret those verses in Matthew 7, or others like it, you must use them in context. Before Matthew 7 is the Sermon on the Mount. To sum it up, the Sermon on the Mount addresses motives and sin. As sinners we tend to minimize or rationalize our transgressions and magnify the the wrong we see in others lives. We cannot judge someones internal righteousness, but we can address sins in a loving manner with Christlike motives at hand.

Now let's skip a few chapters and hop on over to Matthew 18. The verse at the beginning of this post is the subject matter. Addressing out faults in others. Can you do it without judging? ...Yes. If you love someone with Christ's love, then you can address their sins without judgement. What is Christ's love? Dying for them...would you be willing to do it? To them, it may feel like you are ganging up on them, but with the right intentions this is far from the truth. If you follow the guidelines of Matthew 18:15 and go to them one on one to begin with, there's no ganging up. If you end up having to pull another person into it, it is simply to prevent the "he-said/she-said" complex. Finally, last resort, get the church involved. Maybe not the actual "church," but a group of Christians who love and care for that person and want to see them grow in Christ. Again, let's take Matthew 18 passage in context. Given the context, calling someone out on his or her sin displays a willingness to care for a flock member from perishing (Parable of the lost sheep found just previous to this passage). This passage does not say a specific sin that has to be at issue, but it does question the motives of the Christians calling another brother or sister out. They are to care about the well being of the members of God's family who have gone astray, but are deeply important to the Father.

Now what if someone goes through all this trouble only to find that a brother still will not repent from their sins? Jesus tells us that they are to be treated as a Gentile or a tax collector...so hate them? ...of course not. That means love them more than ever, because they are lost.

Now for a couple challenges...
Challenge #1-If you've gone astray and a fellow Christian is pointing out your sins, don't assume they are out to get you.
Challenge #2-If you claim to be a Christian, prove it. Prove it with your speech, your actions, your intentions, your honesty, and your humility.
Challenge #3-If you claim to be a Christian and you blatantly refuse to turn from sin and you have no convictions over things that are written in the Bible, take a second to look at yourself and decide which side of the fence you are on.
Challenge #4-If you do fall into that last category, disregard everything I have written, it does not apply to you. As my pastor says often, "don't expect a lost person to act like a Christian, they're lost."
Challenge #5- If you are going to be calling a fellow Christian out, check your intentions before any word is uttered. If your motives are Christlike, continue.


*"If it isn't in black and white in the Bible, that's probably because it is in red."