Provision

"God created us to have needs, not counting them as sinful or selfish. Without them, we'd have no way of knowing our need for God or how much He loves us." -Anonymous

Most recently, I have been so thankful in the ways God has shown himself in my life. Of all the things he has done, most of them can be summed up in one word, provide. God has provided for me. Everything from a peace of mind, a support system I can turn to at any moment, finances, the strength I need to get through each day and the rest I need at the end of them, he has provided. I try my best not to take it for granted, but all too often I do. I am more than thankful and humbled by his choice to love me and meet my needs.

So call me lucky, call me blessed. All I know is all is that I have been provided for. He has supplied me with challenges, patience, and fulfillment all while I move through life with a rambling heart but a peaceful soul. For that, I realize I fall short, but I am thankful for his provision.

I challenge you to realize when your needs are being met and do not take that for granted.

Good Christians Homeschool?

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news!"" -Romans 10:14-15

If the title caught you off guard and made you read this, good, that was sort of the goal. Anyways, I read this interesting article that a friend of mine posted, and I was going to share it on facebook, but it was turning into more of a blogging topic the more I sat on it. The article was entitled, "Is public school an option?" The link is below.

http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/am/v8/n4/is-public-school-option?utm_source=aigsocial09302013publicsch&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=facebooktwittergooglelinkedin

I will go ahead and say that I agree with a lot of the things this article says. I think that education is not the main focus of schools sometimes, that much time is wasted, that it is the parent's job to invest in the child's education, and I think that the school system is becoming ever more corrupted by politics. However, the point that Christian families need to homeschool/private school their children if they want them to grow up and live out the faith is one that I think is dangerous. One of the very last sentences says "Is public school an option? For Christians who take the Christian worldview seriously and who understand the issues at stake, the answer is increasingly no. The number of Christian parents coming to this conclusion increases each year." 

To this I have to say that school is supposed to be an education center, but nonetheless, it is a mission field. There may be awful curriculum, and unnecessary/unwarranted pressures put on children, but more importantly than the "bad things" in the public school system, there are people. Having grown up in public school my whole life, I can attest that it is a dark place, especially middle and high school. But I must ask those parents who feel so strongly about homeschooling their children for the sake of protecting them from the school system, why would you take what may be the one candle out of such a dark place? I have seen Christians radically change lives and make differences through their interactions that could not have been facilitated outside of public schools.

What I am not saying is that homeschooling is bad, especially with young children. There are many reasons to keep your child home and give them these interactions in other forms, and that is up to the individual parents. I do not think any less of you if you homeschool your children, because I have seen products of homeschooling make differences for the kingdom in other ways. However, keeping children sheltered for the sake of them being sheltered or simply because you don't trust the world is a decision that I think is costly. If your child is a Christian and you keep your Jesus-proclaiming child to yourself, and their only interactions are with children with the same minded parents, they are of no use to the kingdom. God does not urge us to withdraw from the world and to hide from it when it gets dark and ugly. He urges us to communicate and interact with those who are in dark places. He tells us to go, and He prepares us with the tools to go and to make a difference, so why would we keep our children from doing such? Prepare them, give them a solid foundation, and send them. I feel like I could say so much more on this matter, and maybe I will in another blog, but I am going to halt it here for now and leave with one final question and cliche.....What would Jesus do? Would Jesus send his kids out, despite the perceived danger and political dictatorship over public schools, or would he keep them to himself to keep them safe? 

I challenge you to just think on this...not the whole homeschool vs. public school debate necessarily, but more importantly the idea of drawing away from the world because it is too dark or messed up. Is our comfort, safety, and fear of being offended more important than the those who need hope? No child is too young and no school is without need of a light. Just as your kid may be involved in everything but public school, there are some kids who are involved in nothing except public school. If you (your child) doesn't go, who will? Prepare and send.


DISCLAIMER****I realize I do not have kids. I realize I know little about homeschooling. I realize I may be biased towards public schooling. I realize there are other ways of reaching these people than sending your kids to public school. I realize my views on this may change over time. Feel free to share your opinion/experiences on anything I have said even if you disagree with me. I'd love to hear them and think on them. 

On the Up and Up

♪Cause I'm on the up and up...I haven't given up, given up on what I know I'm capable of. I'm on the up and up and now there's nothing left to prove. Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for You, a better version of me for You♫ -Relient K "Up and Up"

I have loved Relient K for a long time and I was lucky enough to be able to see them in concert last week. This was the only song they played that I did not know. How I had missed this song is beyond me. It sums up so much that is going on in my life right now.  My paths have changed in more ways than I thought, and I have ended up places (physically, mentally, and spiritually) that I never thought I would be, but it is all for the better. I cannot really say what "better" is because just when I think I have a goal of "better" on the horizon, God changes what my perspective of "better" is. It is rarely a dramatic 180 degree change, but it is usually just a shift in direction or way of thinking and it is a continuous molding into making me who I am supposed to be.  I am slowly making progress to becoming a better me, but I will never be done. I am on the "Up and Up" and it is a continuous struggle, blessing, frustration and prayer that I am becoming better...whatever that may mean.

I challenge you to take the time to look back on where you have been and examine how life has unfolded differently from how you thought it would. Always strive to be moving up to become a better you.

Collapsible Lung

♪I'm getting by with my collapsible lung and it's a good time 100 percent of the time and I'm like a ladder with a missing rung. It's a slow climb headed back to the sky and I'm feeling backwards when I'm trying the most, and I hope I haven't head the last words from the Holy Ghost 'cause I think that I'm supposed to be well on my way by now♫ -Relient K "Collapsible Lung"

One of my favorite bands recently put out a new album and above are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs off the album. I had been wanting to blog recently, but (as I will explain in this blog) I have not had much time. 

Where to start? I'll give the short version...

Three months ago I was sitting in my apartment in Rock Hill and was doing nothing but watching Netflixs, working out, and taking naps. School was not on my radar due to my easy classes and Senioritis. I was making plans to move back to Aiken and to try to find a job since I had not gotten into the occupational therapy program at the Medical University of South Carolina or the Medical College of Georgia. However, my life was flipped upside down in a matter of hours. Two weeks before graduation, I received and email saying that I had been accepted at MUSC for their program. I had 24 hours to decide if I wanted to accept their offer. I literally made my mind up 20 different times going back and forth between taking it and not taking it, seeing how I would be away from my family, hometown, and I would start school in a month from that day and had nothing done in preparation, I leaned towards not taking it. I used every decision making skill I had and talked to so many people. So here I am sitting in the first floor of the library in Charleston as I write this blog post. My life in the past 10 weeks has been consumed with doctors offices, paperwork, studying, moving, stress, tears, and meeting people. Blogging has been the last thing on my mind. 

Throughout a lot of this, the above lyrics have been important to me. God has really taught me that I cannot do things in my own strength; that my confusion and distraught was a teaching tool and a test of faith in His plans. He has provided and humbled me. He has taught me that I can only live day to day. That when I feel inadequate and I am just getting by with a broken body, mind, and soul at times, He has wonderful things planned and life is a wonderful gift that I get to experience. Between the stress and joy, I am blessed with opportunities of a lifetime. Lastly, just when I think God is possibly done with me, that his final plans are in place and I'm just along for the ride from here on out, that He is not done with me.  I find myself hoping that He is not done with me, and knowing that He is not.

I challenge you to look back and find places where you were in distress and everything seemed to fall together. These moments are where I encounter God most.

Resurrection

"I quite realize how frightfully unfair it must seem...[the world] keeps on killing the thing that He started: and each time, just as they are patting down the earth on its grave, they suddenly hear that it is still alive and has broken out in some new place. No wonder they hate us." -C.S. Lewis    Mere Christianity

As much as I hate the "us vs. them" mentality that Lewis suggests, the point he makes is one that I had never really thought about. Imagine if you try to kill a spider in your house, you kill it and sleep peacefully. The next day you see it again, you are positive it is the exact same spider, you kill it again.  You then find it a third time the next morning, this cycle continues. How terrifying it must be to not be able to get rid of the one thing you try hardest! How frustrating and disturbing it must be when the thing you despise most will not leave you alone. Given that this is not the best example, I think it gets the point across. Point being, it cannot be contained.  Just when you think you have it under control, God proves you wrong. Second point being, Christianity is not a poisonous spider. It can be terrifying at times with its blunt and matter of fact doctrines, but once you get past that, it is God's creation, and it is not going to hurt you. 

In addition, this quote in Mere Christianity is a reflection of the resurrection. Just when we think we have suppressed God, He has escaped somewhere else. He shows up in some of the least likely places, and His resurrection is something powerful that leaves us wide-eyed with our jaw on the ground if we believe that it really happened. As Lewis says "no wonder [the world] hates us." Christians follow the person who is trying hardest to know them, and the person that they are trying so hard to push out of their lives. Plainly put, they see Christianity as making life more difficult it should be. I actually would agree with this, Christianity makes life way more complicated and difficult than it should be, but for anyone who has experienced the power of the resurrection or how God is worked in their life, they know that the difficulty is way more than worth it! Lastly, the resurrection is not a one time event. It did not just happen some 2000-odd years ago, it happens everyday. As all of us are resurrected from our sleep each morning (God willing), the resurrection of Christ also becomes anew every morning. It makes our lives worth living, and I think we should strive to reflect it daily, and it should be just as powerful as the time before. 

If you are fighting Christianity, I challenge you to give it a chance. Yes, the people are far from perfect, but the basic point of the gospel is one that reflects the resurrection. It is a message of love and great hope of a better tomorrow and a better today. To everyone, I challenge you to find ways to let the resurrection be real in your everyday life. Let it live on and let it breathe. Without the resurrection, the very fiber of Christianity ceases to exist.

Catalyst

"For every act of obedience, there is an equal and opposite blessing." -Brenda Mancilla

Thinking about my freshman year of college brings back so many wonderful memories, but none of them are as wonderful as the times I spent went three people who would have a dramatic impact on my life. (This is where I give a shout-out to Elizabeth Goodin, Mary Catherine Kunze, and Kristen Terlitsky).  These girls and myself were in a Bible study group unlike one I have ever experienced.  This was one I was excited to go to. Every week I could not wait to see these girls and discuss what we had read.  We had intriguing conversations, uplifting prayers, and an intimate space for feelings and fears to be discussed.  Unfortunately, two of these graduated after my freshman year and I was unable to find another group quite like them...that is, until this year.

This year, Winthrop's Baptist Collegiate Ministry was trying out a new concept of small, personal Bible study groups called "Catalyst Groups".   As I reflected over the last year, I was able to see how my attitude has changed.  Two weeks ago, one of the girls in my group said the above quote, "For every act of obedience, there is an equal and opposite blessing". We laughed about how it was close to Newton's laws, but it stuck with me as I reflected over the past year.  I was reluctant at first to take on leading this group of girls I had never met before and knew nothing about, but I knew I felt God calling me to lead one of these groups. I am so glad that I did. That small step of obedience, though at first it was out of a sense of obligation, was the biggest blessing I have received in the last 8 months. I have learned so much from the girls in my Catalyst group, and I wouldn't trade a single one of them for the world. Each one has been a blessing and, although contacting them to be in my group was a random process, I think it was very obvious that God wanted us spend these moments of this year together. I have a sense of pride that comes from these girls and from being a part of Winthrop BCM.  The experiences and relationships that have come from it have forever molded my views of people and of how to live out Christianity.

I challenge you to take small steps of obedience.  God may change a reluctant attitude and bless you with things you never expected.

*Final shout out to Whitney Mitchell, Eramis Gethers, and Brenda Mancilla! Love you girls!

Love is a Verb

"Dear Children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." -1 John 3:18

"Love is a verb. Love-the feeling-is the fruit of love the verb or our loving actions." -Dr. Stephen Covey

Something that has been on my heart recently with the whole debate of gay marriage is love. (Although this blog applies to so many other topics as well and the whole controversy itself has sparked many other things in my heart.) So many Christians I know responded to this debate with the cliche, "I can be against homosexuality and gay marriage and still love the person" or the "Love the sinner, hate the sin" mentality. While I believe that this is true and you can definitely do this, I must inquire what they believe love is. Here's what I think love is not. Love is not a thought. Love is not proud, rude, selfish, or easily angered. Love is not a feeling. Love doesn't just happen.

Here's what I believe love is...Love is a choice. Love is patient, kind, and does not boast.  Love protects, trusts and perseveres. Most of all, LOVE IS A VERB. It is an action. In the verse above, John spells it out beautifully. "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." Actions of love can be numerous things that include, but are not limited to, giving to someone in need (as the above verse is used in context), it may be standing up for your fellow brother and sister in Christ, it may be bridging a gap between people of different viewpoints, it may be spending time with someone to show that you care, or it may be doing unto them the best display of love you can, verbalizing the love of Jesus Christ to them. 

As the above quote says, the feeling of love is a fruit of our loving actions. I found this interesting as it implies that we do not act because of our feelings towards a person, but rather our actions induce our feelings.  Feel free to disagree with me, but I think that Dr. Covey is on pointe (although I realize he was not necessarily referring to Biblical love but rather romantic love).  

Here's the challenge for this blog...If you say you love someone, prove it. 

Running on Empty

"He replied, 'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm." -Matthew 8:26

Recently, I was reading a friend of mine's blog where she simply keeps a running list of things she is thankful for.  One of the things on her list stood out to me more than the others.  This thing was simply a picture of her gas gauge on empty, and said she was thankful "for the times when we run on so little."  Immediately, many circumstances flooded by mind.

How often do we find ourselves running on empty in our lives, and yet we make it through.  Everyday we run on just a little gas, a little money, a little patience, a little bit of time, a little faith and yet, we make it to the next morning.  When we run on so little, there leaves so much room for God to intervene.  When we make it through, we know it was not because of our own doing, for if it were we would have had a breakdown a long time ago.  The stress and lack of faith that comes from running on empty matters to God, and I am convinced that ends barely meeting and bridges barely being crossed are His little ways of showing He cares for our everyday lives.  We can rely on Him and, while He does not always get us out of the times when we run on so little, He always gets us through it.  For even when we feel like were going uphill with no gas in the tank and we start sliding backwards, we have a God who loves us.  He comforts in our failures, celebrates in our successes, and loves always.

I challenge you to look for God to show His glory and love for you in those moments when you are running on so little.

Senior Year and I Know Nothing

"While it is good that we seek to know the Holy One, it is probably not so good to presume that we ever complete the task." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer "God Is in the Manger:  Reflections on Advent and Christmas"

So I haven't had a really heartfelt blog in a while and its been for a few reasons.

#1-I am a SENIOR in college and have been busy trying to figure out plans for the rest of my life (and 3 months from now). When I have not been planning, I have just been worrying or fine-tuning my senioritis with Netflixs, naps, or trips to the gym.

#2-I have felt really inadequate about talking about God recently. No, it's not because I've fallen in my faith or had some sort of major traumatic event that has changed my relationship with God. The opposite has actually happened.  I have learned about God so much in the past 8 months or so.  I have found new ways to encounter, love, and serve Him and I have dug into his word like never before.  The main thing that the past few months have taught me about God is how much I know about Him.  The sum of everything I know about God is..........nothing...and that is becoming more and more apparent everyday. I am restlessly searching to know God better and more deeply and yet the more I find out, the more I find that I do not know. I am stuck in this paradox of knowing that the more I know about God, the more questions I will have and the less I will know in the grand scheme of things. Despite how frustrating it sounds (and it can be at times), it is a blessing to know that I have a God that is so far from anything I can comprehend and that because of this, I have faith that He knows better than I do.  He is an unfathomable, loving Creator who loves me and, even though I cannot understand him, I rest in security that He understands me and my struggles and He knows my heart.

I simply challenge you to step back and examine what you do (or do not) know about God.

College Proverbs

Its been a really long time since I blogged, and, just for fun, here is a lighthearted blog.

College Proverbs (some by me, some I found):

When it rains, go inside.
Tuition is greater than the sum of your classes.
Group projects are the root of all evil.
You can judge a Facebook by its cover photo.
Procrastination is the best motivator.
There is no greater way to better oneself than to try to beat your best time on minesweeper.
When a Freshman, do as the uperclassmen do.
When the going gets tough, take a nap.
A picture is not worth anything in a 1,000 word essay.
Keep your friends close, and your smart friends closer.
You can't make an omelet without setting off a fire alarm or two.
God helps those who study.
A watched clock never moves.
There's no time like Friday at 3 pm.
Good things come to those who suck up to the professor.
Two packs of Ramen are better than one.
Your average is only as high as your lowest grade.
You can lead a girl to college, but you can't make her think.