You Never Marry The Right Person

"Why should neurotic, selfish, immature people suddenly become angels when they fall in love...?"

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/27749-you-never-marry-the-right-person

If the title of this blog caught you attention, then you are in the same boat as me. A while back a friend of mine posted a link with the same title that caught me eye, and I just had to read it. This whole article was addressing the fact that you will never marry the right person. First of all, no one is perfect, you are never going to love everything about anyone. "Mr./Mrs. Right" does not exist for you to marry.  The article says people do not see marriage as it is.  That being that it is "two flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love, and consolation...simply put, today people are asking far too much in the marriage partner." Basically, it is not easy. Now, I have never been married, so I cannot describe how hard it is. However, every time I turn around, someone is getting a divorce. So just from inductive reasoning, I can assume it is difficult. In today's society, just about everything we have is disposable.  Something breaks and it is just easier to get a new one than to put the effort into fixing it. I think this is where our relationships fail.  Dating is one thing...no real long term commitment; however, if you are in and out of relationships often or if you are in one of the on-again-off-again relationships, aren't you just practicing for divorce?  But the biggie is marriage...we have to face that people change and, as the article says, you have to work at it to love the stranger you find yourself married to.

I love the last point that this article makes because it makes a claim for why marriage is so hard. That claim being that it is because marriage is a reflection of the gospel. Basically that we are flawed, sinful, horrible people, but despite all that, Jesus Christ works with what we have to create a relationship full of love and commitment. It is a story of Christ who loved us despite it all and who will work at it to create a relationship with us.  But how tough is that if it is only one sided? Imagine if a loving husband showers his wife with adoration, prayers, gifts, and quality time, but she fails to acknowledge his existence.  It is a two way deal for the marriage to jive. There must be a constant outflow of love, understanding, and grace on both sides.

Lastly, I think it is so important to find where your relationships with people fit in with your relationship with Jesus. (Note:  It is not the other way around.) We do not fit in Jesus into our earthly relationships, we fit them into you and Jesus.  Our relationship does not give meaning to His, but rather His gives meaning to ours.  He is not a vital part of our marriages, but the vital, life sustaining source and part of them.

So to answer the question in the beginning, "Why should neurotic, selfish, immature people suddenly become angels when they fall in love...?, the answer is that they shouldn't be expected to and they won't. We have been born flawed ever since the fall of man and I challenge you to reflect the gospel in all relationships you have with people, especially marriages.

10 People I Want to Be More Like

1. Jesus-Of course, the most important person and the person I need to strive the hardest to be like.

2. Shari Barton-The best mother and lover of a family. If girls really do turn into their mothers...I'm set :)

3. Amy King-Her wisdom and insight is far beyond that of any other woman her age.

4. Jason Hadden-One of the most caring people I know and he puts more thought into his actions than anyone else I know. 

5. Betsy McCarty-By far THE happiest person I know. Nothing seems to bring Betsy down.

6. Debbie Pope-I want her compassion for people. 

7. Missy Hadden-A woman full of spirit and livelihood who would never let a single day go to waste. 

8. Mary Beth Avent-Her understanding and knowledge of scripture is amazing.

9. Mark Shivers-I wish I could have his ingenuity and love for all things theological and life-enriching.
10. Addie Ridgeway-I wish I could bake, sew, and love all people like Addie does.

*Making this list really made me realize the wonderful people I have gotten to know while working at Camp Longridge. Because of those two summers spent in the midst of God's glory, I met some of my biggest role models. 6 of the 10 people I would not know otherwise. 

Sabotage

"[Christianity] is a civil war, a rebellion, and we are living in a part of the universe occupied by the rebel. Enemy-occupied territory--that is what this world is. Christianity is the story of how the rightful king has landed, you might say landed in disguise, and is calling us all to take part in a great campaign of sabotage." -C.S. Lewis


So I am in the process of reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and saying it is great is an understatement!  Above is an interesting quote from the book. I have heard many many many parallels comparing Christianity to other things, but never have I ever thought of Christianity as a spy mission. Basically Lewis is trying to make the point that this is not where we belong.  Earth is not our final resting place, not our home, and not our territory. Heaven is. The world is occupied by so many worldly things (...I know who wouda thought?!?) that we are to  triumph over for the glory of God.


This world is the devil's realm; however, in the midst of all the evil, God is undeniably present. He can be quiet yet he knows what is going on through the rebellion.  There are no secret plans to overthrow Him that He does not know about, and He has his spies that are behind enemy lines working for Him...Christians. As Christians, we are supposed to sabotage any and all of the schemes of the devil. Ephesians 6:11-12 says, "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." We are to suit up and get ready for battle because when we step forward and expose ourselves as Christians, we are going to be persecuted in some way, shape, or form. 


Fortunately, we know who wins this war.  The rebel is subdued. Revelation 20:9-10 reads, "[Satan's armies]...surrounded the camp of God's people...but fire came down from heaven and devoured [Satan's armies].  And the devil, who deceived them, was throw into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown.  They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever." As Christians, we can rest assured that our scars will be worth the battle and that in the end, we will find that our God reigns. 


I challenge you to suit up and go sabotage the devil.