You Never Marry The Right Person

"Why should neurotic, selfish, immature people suddenly become angels when they fall in love...?"

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/27749-you-never-marry-the-right-person

If the title of this blog caught you attention, then you are in the same boat as me. A while back a friend of mine posted a link with the same title that caught me eye, and I just had to read it. This whole article was addressing the fact that you will never marry the right person. First of all, no one is perfect, you are never going to love everything about anyone. "Mr./Mrs. Right" does not exist for you to marry.  The article says people do not see marriage as it is.  That being that it is "two flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love, and consolation...simply put, today people are asking far too much in the marriage partner." Basically, it is not easy. Now, I have never been married, so I cannot describe how hard it is. However, every time I turn around, someone is getting a divorce. So just from inductive reasoning, I can assume it is difficult. In today's society, just about everything we have is disposable.  Something breaks and it is just easier to get a new one than to put the effort into fixing it. I think this is where our relationships fail.  Dating is one thing...no real long term commitment; however, if you are in and out of relationships often or if you are in one of the on-again-off-again relationships, aren't you just practicing for divorce?  But the biggie is marriage...we have to face that people change and, as the article says, you have to work at it to love the stranger you find yourself married to.

I love the last point that this article makes because it makes a claim for why marriage is so hard. That claim being that it is because marriage is a reflection of the gospel. Basically that we are flawed, sinful, horrible people, but despite all that, Jesus Christ works with what we have to create a relationship full of love and commitment. It is a story of Christ who loved us despite it all and who will work at it to create a relationship with us.  But how tough is that if it is only one sided? Imagine if a loving husband showers his wife with adoration, prayers, gifts, and quality time, but she fails to acknowledge his existence.  It is a two way deal for the marriage to jive. There must be a constant outflow of love, understanding, and grace on both sides.

Lastly, I think it is so important to find where your relationships with people fit in with your relationship with Jesus. (Note:  It is not the other way around.) We do not fit in Jesus into our earthly relationships, we fit them into you and Jesus.  Our relationship does not give meaning to His, but rather His gives meaning to ours.  He is not a vital part of our marriages, but the vital, life sustaining source and part of them.

So to answer the question in the beginning, "Why should neurotic, selfish, immature people suddenly become angels when they fall in love...?, the answer is that they shouldn't be expected to and they won't. We have been born flawed ever since the fall of man and I challenge you to reflect the gospel in all relationships you have with people, especially marriages.