You Never Marry The Right Person

"Why should neurotic, selfish, immature people suddenly become angels when they fall in love...?"

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/27749-you-never-marry-the-right-person

If the title of this blog caught you attention, then you are in the same boat as me. A while back a friend of mine posted a link with the same title that caught me eye, and I just had to read it. This whole article was addressing the fact that you will never marry the right person. First of all, no one is perfect, you are never going to love everything about anyone. "Mr./Mrs. Right" does not exist for you to marry.  The article says people do not see marriage as it is.  That being that it is "two flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love, and consolation...simply put, today people are asking far too much in the marriage partner." Basically, it is not easy. Now, I have never been married, so I cannot describe how hard it is. However, every time I turn around, someone is getting a divorce. So just from inductive reasoning, I can assume it is difficult. In today's society, just about everything we have is disposable.  Something breaks and it is just easier to get a new one than to put the effort into fixing it. I think this is where our relationships fail.  Dating is one thing...no real long term commitment; however, if you are in and out of relationships often or if you are in one of the on-again-off-again relationships, aren't you just practicing for divorce?  But the biggie is marriage...we have to face that people change and, as the article says, you have to work at it to love the stranger you find yourself married to.

I love the last point that this article makes because it makes a claim for why marriage is so hard. That claim being that it is because marriage is a reflection of the gospel. Basically that we are flawed, sinful, horrible people, but despite all that, Jesus Christ works with what we have to create a relationship full of love and commitment. It is a story of Christ who loved us despite it all and who will work at it to create a relationship with us.  But how tough is that if it is only one sided? Imagine if a loving husband showers his wife with adoration, prayers, gifts, and quality time, but she fails to acknowledge his existence.  It is a two way deal for the marriage to jive. There must be a constant outflow of love, understanding, and grace on both sides.

Lastly, I think it is so important to find where your relationships with people fit in with your relationship with Jesus. (Note:  It is not the other way around.) We do not fit in Jesus into our earthly relationships, we fit them into you and Jesus.  Our relationship does not give meaning to His, but rather His gives meaning to ours.  He is not a vital part of our marriages, but the vital, life sustaining source and part of them.

So to answer the question in the beginning, "Why should neurotic, selfish, immature people suddenly become angels when they fall in love...?, the answer is that they shouldn't be expected to and they won't. We have been born flawed ever since the fall of man and I challenge you to reflect the gospel in all relationships you have with people, especially marriages.

10 People I Want to Be More Like

1. Jesus-Of course, the most important person and the person I need to strive the hardest to be like.

2. Shari Barton-The best mother and lover of a family. If girls really do turn into their mothers...I'm set :)

3. Amy King-Her wisdom and insight is far beyond that of any other woman her age.

4. Jason Hadden-One of the most caring people I know and he puts more thought into his actions than anyone else I know. 

5. Betsy McCarty-By far THE happiest person I know. Nothing seems to bring Betsy down.

6. Debbie Pope-I want her compassion for people. 

7. Missy Hadden-A woman full of spirit and livelihood who would never let a single day go to waste. 

8. Mary Beth Avent-Her understanding and knowledge of scripture is amazing.

9. Mark Shivers-I wish I could have his ingenuity and love for all things theological and life-enriching.
10. Addie Ridgeway-I wish I could bake, sew, and love all people like Addie does.

*Making this list really made me realize the wonderful people I have gotten to know while working at Camp Longridge. Because of those two summers spent in the midst of God's glory, I met some of my biggest role models. 6 of the 10 people I would not know otherwise. 

Sabotage

"[Christianity] is a civil war, a rebellion, and we are living in a part of the universe occupied by the rebel. Enemy-occupied territory--that is what this world is. Christianity is the story of how the rightful king has landed, you might say landed in disguise, and is calling us all to take part in a great campaign of sabotage." -C.S. Lewis


So I am in the process of reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and saying it is great is an understatement!  Above is an interesting quote from the book. I have heard many many many parallels comparing Christianity to other things, but never have I ever thought of Christianity as a spy mission. Basically Lewis is trying to make the point that this is not where we belong.  Earth is not our final resting place, not our home, and not our territory. Heaven is. The world is occupied by so many worldly things (...I know who wouda thought?!?) that we are to  triumph over for the glory of God.


This world is the devil's realm; however, in the midst of all the evil, God is undeniably present. He can be quiet yet he knows what is going on through the rebellion.  There are no secret plans to overthrow Him that He does not know about, and He has his spies that are behind enemy lines working for Him...Christians. As Christians, we are supposed to sabotage any and all of the schemes of the devil. Ephesians 6:11-12 says, "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." We are to suit up and get ready for battle because when we step forward and expose ourselves as Christians, we are going to be persecuted in some way, shape, or form. 


Fortunately, we know who wins this war.  The rebel is subdued. Revelation 20:9-10 reads, "[Satan's armies]...surrounded the camp of God's people...but fire came down from heaven and devoured [Satan's armies].  And the devil, who deceived them, was throw into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown.  They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever." As Christians, we can rest assured that our scars will be worth the battle and that in the end, we will find that our God reigns. 


I challenge you to suit up and go sabotage the devil. 

Boring Christianity

"Radical discipleship is not adventure tourism." -Andrew Byers


I recently read an article on discipleship.  The writer begins by telling a story that happened to him a few years ago.  His story is that he was asked what he was doing for his summer break, he replied "working as electrician."  He then returned the question to his friend and his friend said that he was going to Kenya to work in an orphanage.  The whole article is an encouragement pointing out that just because you are not travelling the world does not mean that you are spiritually inferior to those who are. The one word that the writer uses over and over again is "radical." He says that radical discipleship is not always needed; however, radical service is. There is nothing wrong with staying at home and serving and there is nothing wrong with travelling the globe. ...Well...maybe there is...


I will go ahead and admit it, I love mission trips. They manage to put two of my absolute favorite things together into one...traveling and Jesus.  I had made plans to work back at Camp Longridge this coming summer, but those fell through.  I then planned to spend a little over a week in Cleveland with BCM's from all over South Carolina, but God has closed that door as well.  Like many Christians I have talked to recently, I began to ask why God didn't want me to go. I was ready, I was willing, I was excited, much like a child ready to go to Disney World, and then I get a firm "no." Although it was somewhat disappointing, I just assumed God wanted me at home. I guess I could just serve in my church and just help out wherever I am needed, but that just sounded so...boring. It was then, that I ran across the article entitled "We Need Boring Christians." And the quote above struck me hard.  I realized that the tourism was too much a part of why I was wanting to go places. Now don't get me wrong, I so badly wanted to go for the ministry as well! I figured that being a radical Christian was all about packing up everything you own and making an immediate decision to go somewhere else, but it is not. Being radical is not always an action, being radical is a state of mind. A friend of mine, in referring to missions, said "be intentional."  It is as simple as that; no matter where you are or what you are doing, we must be intentional and radical in our discipleship and on the mission field. 


If you have every read the book "Radical" by David Platt, you know the scenario I am talking about when I talk about dropping everything for a life worthy of a cause. Even though I loved the book and I would be willing to change something in a skinny minute if I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to do so, I just wasn't feeling that this summer. Why? Honestly, I don't know. What I do know is that God must have something spectacular planned for me in the near future. By spectacular I am not referring to a phenomenal or mind blowing job; it may be background work.  Maybe He has a role that will be full of humility (which I know I need a touch of), that would be spectacular in my book. The writer says, "Following Jesus is not to be romanticized through impressive Facebook status updates or photos of exotic places on our blog. Discipleship is often ugly, messy, and painful.  Faithful service will regularly lead us into dull labors and bewildering struggles that would make unexciting press." As lame as some people thinks that sounds, I look forward to doing these things for the rest of my life. I want to serve. It may or may not be in some desolate country, it may or may not extravagant, but I can promise you that it will be impactful nonetheless. Maybe being a "boring" Christian isn't so bad after all. 


I challenge you to live the lifestyle we are all called to live as Christians.  Whether it be extravagant, "boring," or a complete 180 from where you are now, make sure to serve wholeheartedly (Eph 6:7) and to be intentional. 

The Shadow Proves the Sunshine

♪We are crooked souls trying to stay up straight, dry eyes in the pouring rain. Well, the shadow proves the sunshine.  Two scared little runaways hold fast til the break of day light were the shadow proves the sunshine♫ -Switchfoot " The Shadow Proves the Sunshine"

I love this song. Plain and simple, it is a great song.  I see two particular sides of this song. First of all, after deciding I was going to write a blog post on this song, I was informed by a Switchfoot connoisseur that this song was written by Jon Foreman after travelling to Africa.  Having been to Africa myself, it struck a chord with me. In America, we are so blessed. Yes, we have to deal with $3.50 gas prices and crazy taxes, but those are the extent of a lot of American's worries. We have abundance, if you are reading this...you have abundance in simply the fact that you have a computer.  We see our "shadows" and fail to realize that to others would consider our problems blessings in comparison to their problems. I read a quote one time that said "If we all threw our troubles in a pile, we'd see everyone else's, then grab ours back." We have trouble understanding that some of the biggest troubles in our lives are but minor in comparison to what other people are dealing with.

Secondly, this song addresses that without hardships in life, we would never have any comparison to know that the joyful and good parts of life are, in fact, joyful and good.  Often we cannot see the fact that we live in the "sunshine" until we have seen the shadows. This is a message of hope in a world that can only seem to focus on desperation. Having bad times proves that there is in fact a bright side to the situation; going through trials and tribulations and then coming out of them a stronger and wiser person proves that there is in fact a purpose for our sufferings. It proves that we are not living a life with no hope in sight, but rather that we have a purpose and a goal.  Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  Whether this was the main meaning meant to be conveyed by this song or not, this is what I get out of it...that we are striving for a goal and, although it will not always be easy, God will prevail in the end if we persevere.

I challenge you to be thankful for the things you have and to thank God specifically for the dark parts of your life because it is in the darkest of times that His glory shines brightest.

For the Sake of Time

‎"Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not to impress. Don’t strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt." -Unknown

I am not going to write some long drawn out beginning into this blog; I'm just gonna get straight to the point for the sake of time (you''ll understand in a second) We only get a short time here on Earth, 100 years max. So why do we spend a lot of our days doing absolutely nothing. I am as guilty as anyone. While in college, I do not do anything! I feel I sleep for 9 hours a day, I am in classes for about 4 hours a day, I spend 1 hour in the gym, and another 2 hours studying (that is an overestimate on most days). That leaves me with 24-9-4-1-2=8 hours...8 hours where I have no idea what I spend my time doing. It is often sitting down to eat a meal and watch The Price is Right with my roommate, mindlessly browsing the internet, showering, cleaning, driving, etc, but honestly I have more time than I know what to do with! Do why don't I use ever day to make an effective impact on the Kingdom of God and in other's lives? ...your guess is as good as mine.


Here's the thing that I have hit on this in a few other blogs and I will hopefully drive home by the end of this blog, as Christians, we should want to leave a legacy. We should deeply desire to leave God's fingerprint on everything that we do. I heard a great analogy one time that God is the stamp and we are the ink chosen to leave a permanent imprint on the world. When we do His work though, we need to make sure that it is for His glory. We need to leave a legacy, but it is not for our own gain.  That is what the quote above is addressing. We should be desperately striving to see the kingdom of God flourish, but we are not working for applause. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men." Ultimately, we are never working for men! We may serve them in our actions and aid them with our words, but all work is to be for the Lord in the long run. 


That leads to the second part of the quote. We are not trying to impress anyone with our lives. There is a worship song by Phillips, Craig and Dean in which a few of the lyrics read, "I will glory in the power of the cross. The things I thought were gain, I count as loss." This should be our attitude at all times--That we are living for the sole purpose of ministry and that we need to express the love of God in every aspect of our lives. Lastly, "don't strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt."  Jesus was not always noticed. Yeah, He preformed miracles and flipped some tables which surely drew some attention to himself, but there are other times where He spent time washing His disciples feet and spending time with small groups of people just talking to them. Surely His disciples knew who He was and were in awe when they were in His presence, but can you imagine the weight of knowing when He died that the world was going to change forever??  Naturally His presence was noticed, and I'm sure His absence was felt. I can imagine all of His followers' hopes were crushed when they found out that the Savior that they had trusted was being put to death (and then their hopes resurrected when He rose again). That  is the sort of impact we should have on the world. When we are gone, our legacy should live on despite maybe only having humble attitudes and dealing with behind the scenes work. We have so little time to make this impact, so why do we waste it? Again...your guess is as good as mine.


I challenge you to waste less time, in everything you do, make His name great! 
1 Corinthians 10:31-"So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

Forever Loved

♪I will not take my love away when praises cease and seasons change. While the whole world turns the other way, I will not take my love away. I will not leave you all alone. When striving leads you far from home, and there's no yield for what you've sown, I will not leave you all alone. I will give you what you need in plenty or in poverty. Forever, always, look to me and I will give you what you need.♫ -Matt Wertz "I Will Not Take My Love Away"

While listening to Pandora in the library, I stumbled across this artist, Matt Wertz. I quickly paused Pandora and moved my way to youtube where I have been listening to his songs nonstop. They are so chill, simple, and I love them. This is quite possibly my favorite. When I say simple, I mean simple. The whole song is posted above. This song is a perfect representation of God's love for us as individuals. He will never take His love away despite the changes that come and when we move away from Him. As humans, I think we have trouble grasping this concept. We love because we are loved. Meaning that we love someone when they show their love to us and when they choose to move out of our lives and not to love us anymore, we often let them do just that. But God, wow, God would never do that to us. His love is never ending and even when we cease to praise Him, cease to love Him, and the world hates us, He keeps on loving us. What a wonderful picture drawn out by the cross and our loving God. 

The other message in this song is that He will give us what we need. Matthew 6:26 reads, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" This verse is a constant reminder that God is the sole provider of our lives and everything in them. Like the song says "I will give you what you need in plenty or in poverty. Forever, always, look to Me and I will give you what you need." I have never heard God's sovereignty and grace summed up in a better way.

I challenge you to remember that God will provide and that He is there no matter what the circumstances.